First Quarter of The Bell Jar

Esther Greenwood isn't your average girl.

In the first five chapters of The Bell Jar, we learn about our main character Esther Greenwood. She’s cynical, naive, and is very concerned with her grades. She’s an aspiring writer among twelve other artists across America selected to spend a month in New York by winning a fashion magazine contest. She talks about meeting Doreen, another winner, who's the sarcastic rebel that plays hooky and jumps out of cabs to join strange men. While Esther’s in New York she gets food poisoning, works at the magazine, and thinks about her past. She mentions Buddy Willard, who she met in university and was smitten with, despite their relationship seeming lack-luster. At the end of chapter five, she says “I found out how he had fooled me and what a hypocrite he was.” Given the time period, something that could offend her might be much different from now, so I'm not sure what it is yet.

I adore the style that Plath uses to write in. I got a taste of it reading her poetry, but this was a full-course meal. It was delicious. Even the first 50 pages I found to be amazing. The writing is descriptive and creative, and explains what’s going on in a style I’ve never read before. Esther uses words like “plug-ugly”, “dodos”, “queer”, “shrewd”, and other examples of her time period that really set the tone of the sixties. I enjoy texts where the main character observes what’s going on around them and explains it to the reader through their eyes, so this book is very enjoyable so far. The only thing I'm struggling with would be the timeline. Plath likes to jump from one time to another and reference things she hasn’t explained yet,

which creates an intrigue, but does make it harder to depict what is going on. She referenced Buddy Willard several times before explaining who he was, which was an interesting way of building suspense to who his character is and why he’s important, however it makes the book a little hard to follow at places. Other than that, I’ve had to look up some of the words I didn’t completely understand, but it’s an absorbing read that I look forward to picking up.

The quote that stood out to me in the first quarter was “The city hung in my window, flat as a poster, glittering and blinking, but it might just as well not have been there at all, for all the good it did me.” (page 26) I chose this quote because it’s very telling of how the main character perceives the world. In the first quarter, Esther becomes depressed on and off quite regularly. Her thoughts are often surreal and she drifts in and out of being present with the world. In one of her episodes, she took to staring at the wall, ceiling, and window, but couldn’t see much past that. Those feelings are progressing, a she is beginning to see other people that way as well- as flat, lifeless objects that don’t really exist if they can’t help her feel better.

The way she writes creates a very dreamlike state that doesn’t seem to really exist, even though she recalls real places and realistic events. I connect with how she sees reality; in a way that doesn’t follow the laws of time or space. She lives in the moments when she wants to and spaces out when she wants to. I think despite understanding the world, she still acts naive and trapped in her own idea of what the world is like. I can understand wanting to hold onto innocence and try to follow a different set of rules for how the world works. I also relate to the way she makes friends- she finds someone who is the opposite of her. Someone more eye-catching, exciting, and risk-taking; in this case, Doreen. I feel connected with the character, even if she doesn't always make the choices I would.

Right now Esther is discussing her relationship with Buddy. They have just kissed. She doesn’t really know him or what he’s like, and her opinion of him changes at the drop of a hat. I hope to find out about what makes Buddy Willard a hypocrite, and learn more about why she resents him. Esther is a hard character to read, which is what makes her so interesting. I’m never sure what she’s going to say or do next. She is still in New York at the Ladies’ Day, but she’s also discussing what got her there. She briefly mentions her home life, but I’m hoping she discusses more about her parents and family. I’m not really sure what to expect with the next quarter, but I hope she talks about what happens after she comes back from New York. I’ve heard the past, but I want to know the present.